When I was younger, I thought I had it all planned out. I would meet someone great, get married, buy a house, we’d have kids and live happily ever after.
The problem is, this was never my plan, this was a societal expectation that, as it turned out, I wasn’t prepared to meet as I now find myself being 30-something and living alone. As it happens, I did meet someone wonderful when I was 19, and we had a really great relationship, but fundamentally after a year and a half, we wanted different things and split up. A couple of years later, I met someone else who was really great, and we had a lovely relationship, even buying a house together. However I hadn’t considered whether or not I was being true to myself, and when I started exploring the world and myself further, I knew the relationship wasn’t right, so after 6 and a half years together, we went our separate ways. One thing I will say though, is I definitely picked some great guys, as I am still friends with both of them!
This was three years ago now, and I have dated people since, but the main thing I have learned is that I have to be completely honest with myself, about who I am and what I want, before I can be happy in a relationship with someone else. Just because a relationship looks perfect from the outside, doesn’t mean it is right for the two individuals in it. I’m comfortable being in my own company, I no longer need a partner. That said, if the right person came along, I wouldn’t turn them down, I just wouldn’t compromise my integrity for them.
It’s taken my family a while to accept that I will now live my life according to my standards, not anyone else’s, but they are now fully onboard as they realise how much happier I am in myself. I’ve also had to have conversations with them abut how I want my future to look regarding family, as at the moment children aren’t a priority for me. Again, this took a while for them to accept, but I’m ok with it, and at the end of the day, it’s my choice. However, I’m still a never say never kind of girl, and I am flexible and who knows, maybe in a few years I’ll change my mind, but if I do – it’ll be for me, not because society has told me I should.
If you’re in the same boat, and find yourself being 30-something and living alone, feel free to connect with me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/brionycrew
